love|blackbird

Meet My Bobs … I Bet You Have One Too

I’ve had two Bobs with cancer in my life.  Both, representing a different time during my cancer journey, but equally touching my heart.  The first, from Saint Louis, I met back in 2018.  We were both going through the hospital registration process at Barnes Jewish Hospital on the same day.  Eric and I said hi, introduced ourselves and moved on.  An hour […]

I Think My Oncologist Is Breaking Up With Me

Celebrating with some besties at Hairspray The musical

Earlier this week, I had my 6 month scans in Saint Louis.  Gotta love the good old Southwest Airlines as they have gotten rid of all but an obnoxiously early and late direct flight from Omaha to Saint Louis.  Gone are the days of flying down and back in one day without sleeping though the next four.  Not […]

I Just Completed A Sabbatical….

            Last week my kids and husband returned from 8 days in Northern Minnesota.  They loved almost every minute of the cold, fishing, Wi-Fi equipped house, huge fires and riding bikes.  Prior to them leaving … I will be honest … I was counting the days.  May was beyond crazy with end of year sports, school activities and a […]

Spring Break Shenanigans

All thoughts are not rationale.  I understand this.  Yet, I feel strongly that because I have survived cancer; the rest of my life (accidents, viruses, surgery speaking) should be a cake walk.  Every time I get a stomach ache, my first thought is that the cancer has returned.  Certainly, it had nothing to do with the Chinese take-out I […]

How To Have Fun On Vacation When You Desperately Need A Nap

Have you dreamed about an amazing tropical trip while you have been hooked up to a chemo IV or recovering from surgery?  I have.  Vacation scrolling via Pinterest and Instagram were sometimes the best thing that got me through a long day stuck in bed.  My dreams are always semi-tropical, just warm enough to keep my neuropathic toes […]

A Quiet Fall Weekend

3 years out since my last active cancer treatment and even though we had a wonderful weekend … when I took time to think about it … I couldn’t believe how many times cancer crossed my mind.  Our family finally had a semi-quiet weekend; three kids in multiple activities and that rarely happens.  The strangeness that is […]

Brightening a Patient’s Day

People are generally good.   Most of them are actually pretty amazing.  Recently, it seems, I’ve had to remind myself of this more than usual.  Covid, inflation, school shootings … basically the local and world news every single night.  Personally, I recently trusted a contractor with a project, paid him a big chunk of money and watched him never show […]

Why Being a Mediocre High School Athlete Helped Save My Life

I grew up as a fish; a Nebraska, land locked fish, but a fish nonetheless.  My family loved to boat, waterski and spend weekends together hanging out with friends.  My first memories are of swimming and skiing, having birthday parties hanging out on the boat and talking about boys.  Memories of my dad having the patience to drive […]

Why my kids are going to be OK…

Garrett, a 14-year-old nationally competitive triathlete.  He obviously didn’t get his athletic genetics from us, but mostly his personal drive and independence.  Cancer made our little kids grow up faster than we would have liked, but Garrett also became the kid that does one of his two independent workouts before I’m out of bed in the morning.   […]