{"id":7228,"date":"2022-03-25T11:44:11","date_gmt":"2022-03-25T16:44:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.loveblackbird.com\/?p=7228"},"modified":"2022-03-25T12:34:13","modified_gmt":"2022-03-25T17:34:13","slug":"your-new-normal-is-not-normal-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.loveblackbird.com\/index.php\/2022\/03\/25\/your-new-normal-is-not-normal-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Your New Normal Is Not Normal"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
If you haven\u2019t read Becky\u2019s post, \u2018I Miss Me\u2019, please go give it a read! It hits so close to home for me personally, but honestly for so many survivors. Cancer lingers. It lingers in ways that I never imagined. The moment treatment is finished, the common perception is you are suddenly cured and life will go back to normal. Life is never normal again after cancer. Trust me, I\u2019ve really tried to buy into the \u2018new normal\u2019 world view and sometimes I even believe it, but it just isn\u2019t. This is not normal. It is not normal to spend everyday wondering if your cancer is growing again, patiently waiting for your hair to grow back, takings naps during your lunch break, losing your phone or keys on the reg, or getting cozy with MRI machines and blood draws.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For me, the most devastating piece of my diagnosis is the changes to my basic brain functioning. While I did both radiation and chemotherapy, I truly believe the 7 weeks of radiation (and that minor craniotomy) to my brain is what did me in. Another common misnomer is that a surgical team can physically extract the tumor from your body and BAM! you are fixed. Unfortunately, this isn\u2019t always the case. While physically removing the tumor is best case scenario, what most people don\u2019t understand is that the cancer cells are microscopic and linger. They fucking linger. So we nuke them with shots of radiation and chemo, in hopes of eliminating or at the very least, slow the growth of the cancerous cells. Even after they scooped Gretchen out (apparently, she scooped out like ice cream), we zapped her tumor bed (and a little extra) to make sure she was dead and gone. Radiation to the brain is awful. You are a strapped to a table with a mask that is molded to your head, to ensure that you do not move, and shoved into a tiny tube. If you are claustrophobic, you better pray you don\u2019t get brain cancer. <\/p>\n\n\n\n