{"id":3897,"date":"2022-01-31T11:38:38","date_gmt":"2022-01-31T17:38:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.loveblackbird.com\/?page_id=3897"},"modified":"2022-03-22T15:09:51","modified_gmt":"2022-03-22T20:09:51","slug":"emalees-story","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.loveblackbird.com\/index.php\/emalees-story\/","title":{"rendered":"Emalee’s Story"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\"\"\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t
<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t
<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\tEMALEE'S STORY<\/span>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t
<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t

Emalee is passionate about creating a world where no one has to navigate cancer alone.\u00a0 As an attorney in Washington, D.C., she is an example of how living with cancer does not define you.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

\n\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t

Sometimes I wonder how I can even be associated with Becky and Taylor. Honestly, I just read their \u2018about me sections\u2019 and feel serious imposter syndrome. But for some reason they keep me around and I don\u2019t want to ask questions. So although this is out of my comfort zone,\u00a0 I tagging along for this blog journey!\u00a0 Please be kind – This is for you. Muah!<\/p>

I was 28 and healthy when I was diagnosed with cancer. I was gearing up for a typical Saturday night and was brushing my mascara on real think when a strange sensation started creeping up my hand. I didn\u2019t know what I was feeling or what was wrong, but in that moment, I knew something wasn\u2019t right. Thankfully by the time I had realized something was wrong, I was able shout for help and sit down on the ground. My speech was unrecognizable. I remember trying to form the words 9-1-1, but the words just couldn\u2019t come out.\u00a0 My mouth was just so heavy and the words couldn\u2019t form. Thinking about that moment still gives me goose bumps. By the time the ambulance had arrived, I was fairly back to normal and truthfully, very embarrassed by the time the EMTs found me. My speech was back to normal, but I was cracking jokes trying to make light of the situation \u2013 how ridiculous is it that we tend to make ourselves uncomfortable before making another person feel uncomfortable. I didn\u2019t want to inconvenience anyone. The EMTs were convinced that I had simply \u2018passed out\u2019 and insistently asked me if I was dieting.\u00a0 I laughed and said I wish. They didn\u2019t find me very clever, but in that moment I am grateful that I reiterated that I something didn\u2019t feel right and I needed to go to the doctor.\u00a0<\/p>

After the seizure and a joy ride in the back of the ambulance, I arrived into the ER and informed the staff that I had just experienced a heart attack. I picture what happened next like a scene in Grey\u2019s Anatomy. The doctors started running tests to detect evidence of a heart attack\u2026Looking back this is comical. It didn\u2019t take long for the doctors to run me through some big machines and discover that betch, Gretchen. Yes, we named my tumor.<\/p>

The doctors best guess is that Gretchen was brewing for about ten years before she made her grand entrance. T-E-N\u00a0 Y-E-A-R-S. How is that even possible? Regardless, there she was, grapefruit sized and nasty. There are a lot of quirks to brain cancer.\u00a0 Truly, things that had never occurred to me. For example, it seems obvious, but unlike other types of cancer, can you imagine how they biopsy a mass in the brain?\u00a0 Exactly, a craniectomy (honestly, who can spell that?). After a craniectomy, Gretchen was officially diagnosed as a Grade 2 astrocytoma aka cancer, complete with jellyfish-like tentacles, microscopic cancer cells intricately woven into my healthy brain tissue.<\/p>

Probably just an Emalee quirk. But have you ever wanted to feel extraordinarily gifted or truly exceptional at something? I have always been somewhere in between. Average. I\u2019ve never been really bad at something but have never been remarkably good either. Just normal. Why did having cancer have to be my thing? I would have welcomed mindlessly slaying law school or becoming finalist on Jeopardy, kicking ass at the tambourine, seriously, couldn\u2019t it have been anything else? Nope! Instead, here I am just like any other 90s baby, with a side of brain cancer. I\u2019m mostly salty because I had perfected the recipe for success and I had followed that damn recipe to a T. Join every damn club in high school (check). Get into college and join a sorority (check). Drown yourself in student loan debt trying to become a lawyer (check). I did every damn thing I was supposed to.\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0<\/p>

This formula made a lot of sense to me until it just didn\u2019t. January 13, 2018. Looking back, there are moments in your life when everything changes. For me, there is a before cancer and after cancer. Admittedly, sometimes the moments blend together and my brain forgets what happened when.\u00a0 Talk about lessons learned, during my cancer journey Momma Cindi kept nagging me to journal or at least write one sentence a day, so that I could see my progress over time. Do you think I listened?\u00a0 Absolutely not. I will do my best to lean into the uncomfortableness (thanks Bren\u00e9!)<\/p>

My intention is not to shed light on some of the uglier parts of my journey, but I am going to challenge myself to be unapologetically authentic. Why? Because you deserve to hear all of the really great moments that happen with cancer, but also the really ugly parts too \u2013 the stuff that nobody tells you. If you are cozying up for the ride, you better be comfortable with curse words and no BS.<\/p>

I once heard someone say, \u201cI am not living with brain cancer, brain cancer is living with me.\u201d And it always stuck. There is no cure for brain cancer. Brain cancer is treatable not curable. While Gretchen is a low-grade glioma, she is always lingering. Despite the doctor\u2019s scooping her out like ice cream (I kid you not, that is how a neurosurgeon explained it once!), receiving 35 rounds of radiation straight to her core, and ingesting chemotherapy for 12 months, she still lingers. Back to the sentiment of words that stick?\u00a0 I remember sitting in my oncologist\u2019s office when she told me it wasn\u2019t a matter of if<\/u> Gretchen comes back, but when<\/u> she comes back. Another brainy fact! When a craniotomy is performed, neurosurgeons are faced with weighing the benefits of removing the cancer cells with preserving your healthy brain tissue. Again, maybe not so obvious, your brain is the most complex part of the human body. I swear to you, people do not believe me, but I have had to re-teach myself how to perform basic skills. I was in rehabilitation program for months \u2013 physical, speech, and occupational therapy. Seriously, I couldn\u2019t even draw a fucking clock.<\/p>

Physically, cancer is no easy fete. But what is often overlooked is the other side of the coin. Experiencing cancer is trauma and deserves emotional healing too. For 19 months, I was navigating \u00a0more than just my physical health. During those months, I was consumed by some shit. Like seriously shitty shit. I was so na\u00efve when it came to cancer and unfortunately, you probably are too. We are talking IVF treatments, the loss of a career, navigating short\/long term disability, lack of health insurance, preparing a living will, having tough conversations with your power of attorney, and navigating a divorce after discovering an ongoing affair. Seriously. I can\u2019t make this shit up. My life fell apart. I know it seems crazy, but for me the emotional destruction I experienced during my cancer journey hurt more than the physical health of cancer.<\/p>

All of this to say, my shit was heavy and awful. But everyone has shit, cancer or note, and it is all heavy and awful. My hope is that I can make your shit just a little less shitty.<\/p>

\u00a0<\/p>

I can\u2019t promise the journey is easy or that it gets easier. I can\u2019t promise that you\u2019ll look back and think \u201cwow, cancer is the best thing that ever happened to me\u201d because that is 100% bullshit. All I can say is that I am happy you are here. It is possible to live in a world where cancer is merely one chapter of your story. I have a new recipe for success, and it is simple \u2013 live your best life. I think about cancer every day, but for now I am happy to be average. Boring. Simple. Normal.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>

Like, Comment, and Subscribe!<\/p>

Xxx,<\/p>

Emalee<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

\n\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\n\t\n<\/svg>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

EMALEE’S STORY Emalee is passionate about creating a world where no one has to navigate cancer alone.\u00a0 As an attorney in Washington, D.C., she is an example of how living with cancer does not define you.\u00a0\u00a0 Sometimes I wonder how I can even be associated with Becky and Taylor. Honestly, I just read their \u2018about […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loveblackbird.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/3897"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loveblackbird.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loveblackbird.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loveblackbird.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/8"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loveblackbird.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3897"}],"version-history":[{"count":108,"href":"https:\/\/www.loveblackbird.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/3897\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7220,"href":"https:\/\/www.loveblackbird.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/3897\/revisions\/7220"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loveblackbird.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3897"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}