You are not broken, my love. Perhaps your body looks different. Perhaps you are in pain. Perhaps you feel like a stranger to yourself, your soul feels altered, and people are looking at you in a way you don’t recognize. Perhaps you don’t know what the future holds, and it frightens you. But you are not broken.
What you are, is beautiful. Courageous. Scared. Fierce. Determined. Afraid. Strong, and weak, and everything in the middle. You are more powerful than you realize! You can guide yourself through the darkest of times. You can overcome the demons in your body and your mind. You are not defined by that which tries to break you. You are not broken.
You have been shaken to your core. The fear inside you burns like a fire that you can’t quite extinguish, even when you manage to fall asleep for those few precious moments. Sad eyes haunt you. Pity makes you seethe. Treatment makes you sick. Being needy makes you embarrassed. Wishing it would all go away makes you feel like a fool. But you are not broken.
I do not believe cancer is a gift. But it will give you things. It will teach you about the beauty in the leaves as they flutter in the light summer breeze as you take your first small walk after chemo. It will teach you the joy of a full-on giggle fit… even if it *might* be slightly induced by the pain medicine you are on. It will make you cherish every hug, every head rub, every hand hold and kind gesture. You realize that life isn’t about the things, but the moments, the love, the people.
Here’s to your struggle—the obstacles you overcome every single day. I know you, I see you, I applaud you. You may be a little bent right now. Maybe a lot…
But you are not broken.